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Hi all - Kind of embarrassing to post this but I need advice on how to reply to a rejected request for LOR...
So I've asked on of my professors to write me LOR. I was in two classes with this professor and honestly felt like I had a personal connection to her, so I was really shocked by her rejection. Her response was "I am going to decline your request. I remember you well from the Seminar, and enjoyed having you in class. I could write a generally positive letter, but not a really strong one. I think it’s probably best to ask a different professor. I do wish you well."
Ok first of all, ouch.
Anyways, do you think it's worth it to try to persuade her otherwise or take her offer for a "generally positive letter"? Or is it worth it to ask specifically why she felt like she couldn't write me a strong one? Should I just politely thank her and move on? I have no idea how to deal with this, any advice?
The other thing is that she was my top choice professor (I REALLY didn't think she'd say no). I could follow her advice to ask others but I was not personally invested in their classes... and I'm worried that if she said no then they will too. My other options are strong personal LOR from a lawyer that I volunteer with/practice public speaking with or a professional one from my project manager.
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17 comments
I was afraid of asking my recommenders for letters for fear of rejection - because who really wants to be rejected! Agree to let her go and find someone else. Something is probably up and better to get a letter from someone who is enthusiastic about you. Good luck lady!
@figueroa10040 said:
I can imagine the sting of seeing that email. Is this a large university, by any chance? What was your grade? Remember this won't matter in five years and I don't think it's about you. I think it's just an example of the weirdness in academia. Have you ever seen the movie Wit? On the bright side, you're still in school and most instructors are usually happy to help students with this. Please let us know how it goes. Also, maybe this is a blessing, as it's a teaching moment when inevitable future rejections occur and we bounce back stronger and in a place to help others, which is btw a great quality for a future lawyer.
Hey, I love your outlook on this. Also I feel like this whole app/lsat process is forcing me (maybe all of us?) to be so resilient.
To answer your questions it's a private university (Northeastern) and also got A's in both her classes.
I can imagine the sting of seeing that email. Is this a large university, by any chance? What was your grade? Remember this won't matter in five years and I don't think it's about you. I think it's just an example of the weirdness in academia. Have you ever seen the movie Wit? On the bright side, you're still in school and most instructors are usually happy to help students with this. Please let us know how it goes. Also, maybe this is a blessing, as it's a teaching moment when inevitable future rejections occur and we bounce back stronger and in a place to help others, which is btw a great quality for a future lawyer.
@sorooshianh185 said:
@gregoryalexanderdevine723 said:
It is much better this than getting a bad letter. I say this as someone who has had a bad letter from a prof I trusted ruin two summer's of internship hunts before someone pitied me and told me.
!!!!!!!! What in the........ I'm actually so sorry to hear that. I'm glad that at least you found out and egged his house (lol jk no one does that anymore right)
In all seriousness thanks for the advice :) It seems like "move on" is the theme of LOR's
Nope, he is a prof in my major so I just avoided his classes and learned to always ask if people could write me a strong positive letter of rec not just any old letter of rec.
@gregoryalexanderdevine723 said:
It is much better this than getting a bad letter. I say this as someone who has had a bad letter from a prof I trusted ruin two summer's of internship hunts before someone pitied me and told me.
!!!!!!!! What in the........ I'm actually so sorry to hear that. I'm glad that at least you found out and egged his house (lol jk no one does that anymore right)
In all seriousness thanks for the advice :) It seems like "move on" is the theme of LOR's
@sorooshianh185
Thank her for the honesty and move on.
This is exactly why we word the request that way. If they are reluctant whether out of laziness, business, lack of a high opinion of you, lack of confidence in their letter of rec writing abilities, ect, we want them to be able to squirm out.
It is much better this than getting a bad letter. I say this as someone who has had a bad letter from a prof I trusted ruin two summer's of internship hunts before someone pitied me and told me.
@gregoryalexanderdevine723
That's good! At the very least, you have something in the pipeline for backup. Honestly, it sounds to me like she is just not into writing LORs. I'm sure you're a great student and are going to get wonderful LORs from your other profs :)
awe thank you!! :smiley: :smiley:
@sorooshianh185 said:
@gregoryalexanderdevine723 Divine @leahbeuk911 M B thank you guys so much. I ended up asking her if all else doesn't work out would she write me that positive letter and she said yes. Still, I'm moving on since I feel there are a few other professors that I could ask.
That's good! At the very least, you have something in the pipeline for backup. Honestly, it sounds to me like she is just not into writing LORs. I'm sure you're a great student and are going to get wonderful LORs from your other profs :)
@gregoryalexanderdevine723 said:
Pondering is wasting your precious time and energy.
I need this tattooed on my palm, for real lol
@gregoryalexanderdevine723 Divine @leahbeuk911 M B thank you guys so much. I ended up asking her if all else doesn't work out would she write me that positive letter and she said yes. Still, I'm moving on since I feel there are a few other professors that I could ask.
Yeah, agreed with all the others. I would say a polite, "thank you for your honesty, I totally understand." And move on.
Since you are not far removed from school, it's really important to get an academic LOR. It doesn't necessarily have to be someone you have a personal relationship with (although that's usually helpful, so they are wanting to do it). I would think of any class, hopefully recently, where you did great work and possibly had to do a lot of writing. Any class that you think would show your skills, and hopefully a professor would be willing to look back on your grades or work and write something for you. Professional letters are ok, but from what I've seen, if you were recently in school they absolutely want an academic reference as well.
Good luck! I totally understand why that was disappointing, but I think you'll be able to find something!
Pondering is wasting your precious time and energy. Ask someone else.
Sounds like for some reason she doesn't want to write the LOR. If you were a good student, it's probably her being lazy or something. Some profs are just really against writing LORs for some reason. Same thing happened to a buddy of mine applying to B-School. Prof we loved wouldn't write him a letter... Don't worry and find someone else.
@57803 said:
I think it's definitely worth asking other professors instead! I understand why you're taking it personally, but there's no way to know what's really going on here (she might just not have time and doesn't want to say no...). If you're applying this cycle, write to the other profesors now, and see what they say. You should offer to send them your resume, personal statement, work you did for their class, or to talk to them more in person if they would like (to make it as easy as possible for them to say yes). If you're applying this cycle it also might be strategic to reach out to multiple professors at once so you're not waiting on one to get back to you before reaching out to others
You know what's so interesting is that I asked for LOR because like 2 days ago I thought I should take a chance on myself and try to apply for this cycle... that would mean I would have to start apps from scratch and take my first LSAT in Feb (I've been studying for 4 months now). Honestly it's probably do-able but my anxiety has totally paralyzed me. I now remember why I decided to wait until June LSAT/2019 cycle lol
So I guess there's no rush but I still think you're right that I should send out a bunch now. I just graduated in May so I want to get them before it's too late!
I think it's definitely worth asking other professors instead! I understand why you're taking it personally, but there's no way to know what's really going on here (she might just not have time and doesn't want to say no...). If you're applying this cycle, write to the other profesors now, and see what they say. You should offer to send them your resume, personal statement, work you did for their class, or to talk to them more in person if they would like (to make it as easy as possible for them to say yes). If you're applying this cycle it also might be strategic to reach out to multiple professors at once so you're not waiting on one to get back to you before reaching out to others
@gregoryalexanderdevine723 said:
That is an interesting, vague response. You could even interpret this as her not feeling confident in writing you a letter because she doesn't want to give you a weak LOR and she is not confident in herself. It might not say anything about you at all.
That being said, I would just leave it alone and say thanks anyway. I still think having a LOR from at least one professor is extremely important, but getting LOR from the professional world isn't bad either. I have 2 professors and 1 boss for my LORs.
Look at your grades, comments on your submitted papers, and your interactions with the teachers and then try and target someone new.
It will work out for you!
I really hope that's the case with her! I'm kind of confused why she thinks a positive letter would not be something that I appreciate?
In the end I think you're right that I should thank her and move on. Thanks for advice :smile:
That is an interesting, vague response. You could even interpret this as her not feeling confident in writing you a letter because she doesn't want to give you a weak LOR and she is not confident in herself. It might not say anything about you at all.
That being said, I would just leave it alone and say thanks anyway. I still think having a LOR from at least one professor is extremely important, but getting LOR from the professional world isn't bad either. I have 2 professors and 1 boss for my LORs.
Look at your grades, comments on your submitted papers, and your interactions with the teachers and then try and target someone new.
It will work out for you!